The life of a single expat during a pandemic — or how to find your authentic self in difficult times
The life of an expat can be the most incredible experience you will ever have in your life. You enter a new cultural environment and you meet new and amazing people, sharing good times. You grow as a person — but what if all this is temporarily not possible due to the current pandemic? What if you cannot socially interact and are forced to stay at home, alone?
In my case, when the pandemic started and the first lockdown was about to come, I had a personal breakdown: I just had moved to a new country, but with a big emotional backpack: I was recovering from an unhealthy relationship. The pain I went through, the challenges in my job back then, the missing interactions, and how to overcome all these obstacles in this unknown social and professional environment allowed me to grow as a person. Here are some of my recommendations for people in similar situations:
The best and most important advice is: Become your own best friend. Treat yourself as if you would treat your beloved best friend or any person you genuinely care for. Give yourself the advice you would give your bf, be patient with yourself and take things slow. Be your own parent. Writing helps 😉
Accept that this is a difficult phase. Do not overload yourself with unnecessary tasks. Focus on the essential thing in your life: Your health.
Cook healthy, and perhaps improve your cooking skills with new recipes or online cooking classes. Good food boosts both — your physical health and your mental health.
Do sports. Nowadays, you can find almost anything online. Several virtual gyms, like Gymondo or MyFitnessVideo (in German), help you start with beginners’ classes. You can even choose what kind of sports you want to start. Fair prices and hardly any additional equipment needed.
See this crisis as a chance!
Reconnect with old friends online. Talk with them about your feelings. You will see you might find a lot in common. Friendships can improve a lot if you take them to a deeper level. Need more help? Reach out! There are many online groups, for instance, on Meetup or InterNations, which organize regular meet-ups where you can talk freely and make new connections. I participated in some and found great people from all over the world, who I meet in person whenever possible! A crisis can be turned into an excellent chance for your life!
Take the opportunity to focus on yourself and learn more about yourself. When I started to work from home, alone, I felt inevitable loneliness coming up. Accept this feeling and perhaps go even more profound. See where this feeling is coming from. Reflect on your current situation in your life, and see if you might want to change something.
Feelings, no matter if positive or negative, are energy. You would be surprised what a sad person can achieve when feeling upset, lonely, or whatever. In my case, I turned my pain into something valuable and creative: Knitting, crocheting, painting. If you have never done any of these before, do not worry: YouTube teaches well 😊 Or you order material online; they usually come with a simple manual.
Journaling. What helped me was to write almost every day — writing about the work I achieved (even if it was just something simple) or how I successfully prepared a good meal. It helped me focus on the bright sides of life. Also, it is crucial to write down how you felt on that day or during certain moments. Which activity gave you pleasure? Which one was less productive? You can write down anything you like, in the language you prefer (yes, swear words are allowed 😉) and at any time.
Monitor yourself. What is going on inside you? The best method to find this out is to write down your dreams in a specific “dream- journal” shortly after you wake up in the morning. Note what happened in the dream, which people were involved, and how you felt. This type of journaling can give you, perhaps with the help of a therapist, a deep inside of your inner life and unresolved issues. Fit in the morning? If you feel so, sit down in the morning and reflect on your yesterday. What did you do well, what made you feel good? What can be improved? A rested mind sees more clearly!
Read, but read carefully. Nowadays, the media is quite full of bad news, horror stories, and the pandemic. Even though we should take the pandemic seriously, your focus should be on yourself. Read what is interesting for you, perhaps sign up for newsletters or abonnements, and stick to what is beneficial for you. Keep yourself informed, properly.
Read. To avoid your mind spinning around, overthink, or whatever, I recommend you to read. Good books can entangle you, and reading is the sport for your brain. I am sure there are specific authors’ books you always wanted to read — why not now? Or any topic you want to know more about? Remember, this might be the only time when you have the freedom and time to choose. I recommend the following book: “The Child In You: The Breakthrough Method for Bringing Out Your Authentic Self” by Stephanie Stahl. This book helped me a lot to find out my “inner programming” and how I perceived the world. Attention, it might be better to do this in connection with therapy or an online self-supporting group.
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